Jessika. Is a nutshell.

My narcissistic dispositions couldn’t take me over, only if I’d let it. My bipolar manic-depressive illness, could control me, at best, if I granted it. My depression might consume me, soley if I enabled it. My anxiety probably could affect my attitude, unless I wanted it too. My Attention deficit slash Hyper activity disorder, can have a hold on me, but not until I command it to. I’m giggling right now… Because I’ve never been clinically diagnosed with these phycological disorders. But I swear to fucking crazy.. that, if I do go to a psychologist, and they tell me that I am, I’d probably implode. Only because!.. I knew it! I…. knew it!😂 Yes! I’m crazy. I’ll take onus to that. There’s nothing that can take it away, subside it, or cover it up. Because it is present, all at once, most of them, even at the same time. I totally web M.D’ed all these mental disorders, I learned of them. I identified my complaints, based on signs I could identify with. These symptoms, in association with situations, peoples, family members, and myself in my brain. Its hard to accept, and extremely embarrassing to own. I could probably most likely have all these mental issues, and more. I don’t know too much about the days that I have conquered. I do believe that some days I do, and some days, I don’t want to be a good person. The days that are good, I know I am GOOD, because I find myself congratulating myself of the hard work I did that day. If I have bad days, I choose it. I know that I do. I kick myself in the butt on those bad days hard. Everything after that, follows my attitude. I choose to control my emotions, because I know that there are other people, that might not be as comfortable as I am, with my mental issues. I’d rather put myself aside if needed. But, I always come back to me, when I need to. Boundaries and routine, is one of the many things that give me structure. No matter what we’ve been through, I hope that we can keep our heart guts. I wish we heal fast, and obtain more heart, when we come out from our troubles. I know I do.

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